I’m cracking up. I’ve had bouts with videogame dementia before but I’m approaching flat-out bonkers status at breakneck speed. My synergy of reality and We Love Katamari is nearly complete, leaving my battered brain with some ridiculous combine I like to call Katimality.
No location is safe. No challenge is too great. Everywhere I go I size things up like a boxer in a crowd. I categorize things by size, shape, weight, and prepare a mental list sorted by volume.
Pens, papers, cans, keyboards, parcels, monitors, chairs, cubicle partitions, desks, the snack machine, filing cabinets, the IS department personnel, the IS Blade server farm, that sporty Honda that parks overlapping the handicapped spot every morning…
It can all be rolled up! All of it! Everything!!
Wherever I am, work or play, whatever I see, big or small, it’s all fair game. I whip out my cranial katamari from my mind’s eye, hop behind it, and roll up everything I see.
- Spilled salt on the table?
- Someone cut me off on the highway?
- Paperwork building up?
- Playing a card game?
- Busy parking lot?
- Messy bedroom?
- 15 hard disk partitions and virtual drives? (what a geek)
- Fighting a charr army in Guild Wars?
- Too many ads on a web page?
Every single one of these problems can be solved by rolling up the excess in a katamari! It’s the solution to peace, hunger, and global unity!
I know you love me I wanna wad you up into my life Let's roll up to be a single star in the sky I hear you calling me I wanna wad you up into my life Let's lump up to make a single star in the sky To you, to you - Que Sera Sera, Katamari Damacy
(cue “da ba da ba” song)
My my, what a glorious day it is today!
A little chilly perhaps.
But a little chill invigorates Us.
Oh, it’s Brian!
Dressed in his work clothes.
But what’s this?
You’re at work but you’re blogging?
Data in one ear, audio out the other?
You’ve got too much time on your hands?
That can be remedied.
Roll up all the clocks in your workplace.
You have 5 minutes.