demodulated

The heyday of cutesy internet personality tests has come and gone, but I still enjoy taking The Political Compass test every few months. Normally I take such a test once and stick a fork in it, but for the most part I’m politically naive, and my wife is a politics junkie with me cursed as her closest pair of ears so my various political opinions and motivations change rapidly as she challenges me.

My scores, determined yesterday, are as follows:

Economic Left/Right: -5.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.46

To my surprise I am just as libertarian as ever before, but have edged significantly closer to centre since my last test (which put me at about -7.50 to the left as I recall). This classifies me as politically compatible with the Dalai Lama and Nelson Mandela, though I’m even further southwest than those radical luminaries.

I have a love/hate relationship with the Political Compass test. Every time I take the test I become more aware of how ambiguously phrased the questions are, and find a new excuse to answer a question in a completely new way based on an unspecified exception. This is quite brilliant because, I suppose, the means classify your political slant more than the ends do.

For example, one question is phrased “mothers may have careers, but their first duty is to be homemakers.” I answered this question with “Agree”, and my wife answered it “Strongly Disagree”. We both disagree with the phrasing assuming it is exhaustive - we both disagree that a woman’s place is in the home, barefoot and pregnant. However, I don’t see the phrasing as exhaustive and I believe a husband’s first duty is to his home and family which is why I answered the way I did. We’re both correct, yes?

I urge one and all to take this test to see a summary of your political position based on your opinions of specific scenarios and morals. You might be surprised with the outcome.

I’ve reciprocated in the blog post exchange with Bianca at The Weasel Soap Box. I wrote a story on Ed Stelmach and the mighty Daveberta who threatens his very.. uh.. hay bails.

Apologies in advance for the title of that post.  It stinks more than the southbound end of a northbound bronco.

I’m getting awfully tired of seeing Liberal-bashing ads on prime time television. The end of each ad proclaims them to be “brought to you by the Conservative Party of Canada.” But the Conservative Party was brought to Canada by Canada. Elected by Canada. Paid for by Canada.

I accept the fact that Canada desired new government in the House of Commons, and I accept that this government may reallocate my tax dollars to more closely suit their own agenda. That’s why we vote.

But why am I paying for political ads? There’s no election going on now. There’s seemingly no reason for the Conservative party to attempt to curry favour from the populace at the moment. Regardless of which party I voted for I shouldn’t be forced to pay for slanderous, self-serving tripe. It’s inappropriate, irresponsible, and unethical of any government to do so.

I find this practise particularly slimy because, if the ads were showed during election time, they would be out of accordance with CRTC political advertising rules.

For example, “all candidates and parties are entitled to some coverage that will give them the opportunity to expose their ideas to the public.” I’ve thankfully been exempt from paying for Liberal rebuttal ads, though, according to the CRTC, such an opportunity is due:

“…if paid advertising time is sold to any party or candidate, advertising time must be made available on an equitable basis to rival parties and candidates. “

Furthermore, during elections, one-sided inflammatory advertisements have been all but unheard-of as far as I’ve observed. There’s a reason for this - the CRTC holds itself and television and radio stations responsible for the equitable presentation of issues by political parties.

“Section 3 of the Act requires that ‘the programming originated by broadcast undertakings should be of high standard’ and ‘the programming provided by the Canadian broadcasting system should provide a reasonable opportunity for the public to be exposed to the expression of differing views on matters of public concern’”

These cheap-shot ads are the least of my worries, disgusting though they may be.

It’s generally agreed that the Conservatives stole the Liberal’s minority government by bombarding the public with ads bringing to light an embarassing and illegal Liberal sponsorship scandal. Fair game. However, it’s perplexingly infuriating that the Conservatives have yet failed to punish their own Minister of Heritage for doing the same thing very shortly after the election, and later took measures to justify its illegal sponsorship funds by means of a loophole in their own Accountability Act.

The Liberals’ term ended with former Right Honourable Prime Minister Paul Martin denying America’s request to set up a defensive missile shield on Canadian soil. The simply Right current Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s term began by sending Canadians to combat in Afghanistan.

The Liberals, interpreting Canada’s Charter of Rights, deemed same-sex marriage legal and in the spirit of the country. The Conservatives, ignoring the Canadian majority’s votes and morals, vowed to re-open the issue. This ended in embarassment for Harper when his discriminatory motion was defeated by a large majority.

Since taking power the Conservatives have inexplicably lowered the GST while ballooning military spending, eliminated government-sponsored child care and ended women’s support services in a double-whammy assault on women’s rights, stepped up efforts to deport even well accepted and loved illegal immigrants, and preceded children’s movies with army recruitment ads.

I urge all Canadians, whether in support or in contempt of our Conservative government, to voice their concerns to the Prime Minister. Do so by way of your local MP, your provincial premier, or email Harper himself at pm@pm.gc.ca.

I’ve never before been so motivated to vote.

My girlfriend and I broke our yearlong hiatus from filmgoing this weekend by attending the adorable and surprisingly weighty Happy Feet. We attended a matinee ($12 at Silvercity Yonge & Eglinton, Toronto) where we were welcomed with a full but cheerful theatre full of starry eyed pips and their parents.

In the way of pre-movie commercials the 25 minute double-dip hadn’t subsided much at all since we saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last year. What had changed, however, was what passes for a commercial:

Above is a compilation of the Canadian Army recruiting propaganda currently propagating on Canadian television. Despite Canada’s traditional role and image as peacekeepers, these ads unabashedly show individuals carrying and firing assault weapons, tactfully surveying ruins and homes, deploying in hot zones in helicopters, and carting away wounded civilians.

One such advertisement played, in all its big screen and surround sound glory, before a gaggle of kindergartners. And then the penguins started tap dancing.

What does the army have to do with a children’s (rated PG) movie? What indeed.

The purpose behind these ads is that Canada’s Conservative government wishes to transform our military from support and humanitarian troops to a front-line aggressor. The goal: to fill our newly desert-coloured camouflage fatigues (our fighting force was green in more than experience in the early 90’s gulf war) with temporarily warm Canadian bodies.

To glamorize war to children is unnerving and irresponsible. Highlighting action-packed yet safe clips of wartime deployment forcefeeds an unrealistic soft-lensed idealism upon our impressionable youth.

But really, to sell anything to naive children, MUCH less war, is immoral. On this topic, the Canadian Marketing Association has this to say in their Code of Ethics and Standards of Practise:

Marketing to children must not exploit children’s credulity, lack of experience or sense of loyalty.

And what is marketing if not the exploitation of these human traits?

Our Conservatives largely won our vote for putting a megaphone in front of the Liberal party’s floundering following a sponsorship scandal in which corporate and individual political sponsors were overly compensated monetarily for their assistance. They completed this one-two punch with a smear campaign showing Canadian citizens shaking their heads in disapproval while listening to the promises of the Liberal party. In my opinion the Conservatives won the vote by capitalizing on the now active Federal Accountability Act which was claimed, or perhaps just implied, to help enforce policies on campaign sponsorship.

It is therefore confusing to see the same Conservatives, mere months after enacting the policies, propose a loophole amendment to exempt them from having to rationalize millions of dollars in unaccounted lobbyist donations.

Steven Harper and the gang are simply bait-and-switch artists who dangle a carrot in front of the populace and don’t tell them about the maggots within and pesticides without until after they convince us to enjoy a good crunchy bite. The Conservative party is poisoning our government with its lies and sabotaging our youth with its half truths.

After many years of disillusionment I was convinced to cast my vote in the last federal election. By researching the issues and choosing the party that matched my ideals I hoped to assist the increase of mass transit service, preservation of environmental resources, reduction of gun violence in urban centres, assistance to the underprivileged, continuation of social programs, continued abstinence from war, increased unity with Quebec, and strengthening of Canadian identity. The Conservatives were elected and they have worked tirelessly to ensure the opposite of each of my wishes occurs.

Remind me please, why am I voting again?

This weekend my girlfriend and I enjoyed our usual romantic night in - a round or three of Guild Wars in the Tomb of Primeval Kings. She and I were chatting amongst ourselves, sitting side-by-side at her desk, mostly ignoring the inarticulate and perplexingly abbreviated banter of our group. A quick glance at the chat window revealed that they were talking about how choppy and laggy the service was that night, while one of them surmised the problem to be the addition of several new countries to the game. I didn’t pay close enough attention to their conversation to see the exact context, but while listing various countries and the reason why they may be the reason for all the lag, two of these people, in response to “Iraq”, said “suicide bombers”.

This really pissed me off. I called them racists and they defended their slander with “It’s just a joke. Dave Chapelle jokes like this all the time.” I asked them where they were from and they both said America. I proceeded to berate them with reasons why America was an intolerant country and how much better Canada was. I inflated my ego a bit and felt good about myself for giving these idiots the business, but I feel a little empty today. I fought fire with fire and now everything’s torched.

So I’ve been thinking about this situation a little bit and will now fulfill my resolution.

I challeneged racists with my own brand of stereotypical profiling which is basically the pot calling the hash narcotic. I chewed out these brainwashed children for being ignorant, all the while proving myself guilty of the same. My penance is to rectify this wrongdoing appropriately and evenly.

My post today is in response to 2 things - to these misguided American kids who have been bred to fear others, and to the alleged words of Osama bin Laden that the “west” is waging a war on Islam. I have dedicated a very short part of my day - maybe 8 minutes total - reading something nice about these dissimilar but, in this case, opposing sides - America and Islam. These tiny insights speak majestic volumes about the whole of these peoples, and I believe that if we all took the time to research as I have just once per month, we would find much in common with the things we fear.

A short tale from the Qu’ran:

1600 years ago before the widespread acceptance of Islam, the Arabian people were pagans and idol worshippers. When the prophet Muhammed, the embodiment of all that is good and merciful in Islamic principle, arrived in Arabia, more and more people became impressed and appreciative of his peaceful and polite demeanour and adopted his way of life. This angered the more devout idol worshippers because their deities lost power as they lost believers.

One such woman lived in a house that Mohammed passed each day on the way to to mosque. She hated him for wordlessly ridiculing her deepest beliefs and for infecting her people with his virus. Whenever he would pass beneath her bedroom window, each day without fail, she would throw her smelly refuse on him to shame and discredit him in his place of worship. Each time, Mohammed would look up at her but would not call our or frown. He remained peaceful and polite and would continue on his way, day after day.

One day, on his way to mosque, the woman did not throw refuse on Muhammed. He looked up at her window and did not see her standing there at all. He knocked on the woman’s door and a man answered. He asked where the woman was, and the man told Muhammed that she was sick in bed. Muhammed asked if he might visit the woman and the man agreed.

Recognizing Muhammed immediately, the woman frowned and prepared herself for his revenge now that she cold not defend herself. Muhammed knelt beside her and told her not to be afraid. He explained that he was the messenger of Allah who had instructed him to show no malice, and to defend and tend to the needs of the sick. The woman broke down and cried, admitting her embarassment and shame, and pledged to serve Allah and Islam for the rest of her life.

A short American tale:

Hurricaine Katrina caused massive damage and dozens of deaths in the southern United States. As horrible as the event was, the aftermath was equally as daunting for families suddenly finding themselves without homes, supplies, and jobs. Thousands of people were forced to live in overcrowded shelters with complete strangers, deprived of privacy, hygeine, and in the case of a Forrest County, Mississippi town, water.

Sherriff Bobby McGee, resident and peacekeeper in Forrest County, had been tirelessly fending for his populace for days on end. Upon hearing of the shortage of clean water, Sherriff McGee, following procedure, called the FEMA information line incessantly for 6 hours in an attempt to track down delayed resources that should already have arrived. Not content to leave babies without formula and lifesaving medications unrefridgerated, McGee decided to forgo FEMA procedures and pay a visit to the nearby staging site at Camp Shelby where supplies were stored and distributed.

Upon arrival at Camp Shelby, McGee was informed that his town’s supplies had been delayed by damaged roadways. When he asked about some nearby 18-wheelers loaded with ice, he was told that these trucks had no set destination but were ordered not to be moved. Incredulous, the sherriff instructed his officers to commandeer 2 of the trucks and bring them to the shelters immediately. The national guard, posted at the site, attempted to stop the Sherriff and his men verbally, and finally by force. One guardsman climbed onto McGee’s truck and attempting to remove the keys from the ignition. McGee stopped his vehicle, climbed out, wrestled the guardsman to the ground, cuffed his hands behind his back, placed him in a patrol car for interfering with an officer of the law, and got right back into his truck.

The people of Forrest County hale McGee for his decisiveness and empathy and wish to nominate him for governer. His eligibility is in limbo, however. Shortly after distributing ice to his thankful jurisdiction (and releasing the National Guardsman), McGee was placed under arrest and thrown into a federal holding area, awaiting trial. And that’s where he sits today.

For taking action as the much maligned FEMA failed him, Bobby McGee is a hero to his state and a criminal to his country. Behind bars, McGee stated “I regret where I am today but I don’t regret my actions.”

And ever a man of faith and charity, McGee told the press, “All the prayers that have gone up on my behalf, and all that’s been done on my behalf only strengthens my resolve to continue to serve the people of Forrest County and do the best I can do. And with your prayers and support, we’ll get there.”

Have you written interesting research articles or stories about other nations, cultures, or religions? Please leave a comment below or email me at briandamage@hyppy.zapto.org and I will be honoured to link to you!