Half Life: The Movie

Blather | Thursday, June 1st, 2006 | 13 years, 4 months ago

Why post one crappy blog entry when you can post 2?

Still waiting on this website analyzer to do it’s stuff, so I’ve been cruising the Valve forums reading all about Half Life 2. (YAAAY Episode 1 is unlocked and waiting for me!!) I came across this utterly hilarious post by HawkEyesUK featuring the movie trailer that just might be.

It was a time for war, a time for heroes… a time for… war… and heroes… …

One man… One Crowbar… One Mission… to kick some alien a**!

Join Dr. Gordon Freeman through an epic journey, that even he doesn’t understand, shadowed by a menacing appearce-altering intergallactic bounty hunter who wears a suit. From the twisting hallways of a top secret government facility to the open streets of an alien-infested world… comes a new type of adventure.

With an all-star cast

Arnold Schwarzenegger IS Gordon Freeman

Scientist: “Gordon, you have to get out of there!”
Gordon: “What the hell did you?”

With Sylvester Stallone as Barney Calhoun

Barney: “Hey catch me later, I’ll buy you a beer.”
Gordon: “Don’t Bull**** me!”

In a world with no future, a world being punished for the mistake of a few men, a few men who are now the only remaining hope for the future of mankind. They must now devise a way to fight off a race of super-beings they once released.

Kleiner: “Gordon! Throw the switch now!… For the love of Darwin, use your hands man!”

Every action, every breath, every broken crate is just one step closer to the devastating truth!

Gman: “Wasssn’t it– obvi-ous, all a-long Misster FreeMan?”
Gordon: “Yoou son of a *****!”

He can run, periodically, but he can’t hide.

Breen: “Well, well, if it isn’t Gordon Freeman”

In Stasis, no one can hear you scream.

Gordon: “Stick Around!”
Gman: “No, Mr FreeMan… thiss, is where… I, get off.”

…comedy… mystery…

Barney: “What the hell are these things? And why’re they wearing science team uniforms?!”
Gordon: “Come with me if you want to live!”

…bad guys… action

Barney: “They’re coming from the ceilings Gordon!”

more action

Barney: “They’re still coming from the ceilings Gordon!”

…adventure, Romance…

Alyx: “Gordon, I love you, but we only have 14 hours to save the earth!”

… some more mystery, a crowbar, friendship…

Alyx: “Gordon, it’s not worth it! There’s too many of them!”
Gordon: “Trust me, I have to do this.”
Alyx: “But Gordon… it’s… just a crowbar.”

This Summer, the Crowbar is in the other hand.

Alyx: “Gordon, where are you going?”
Gordon: “I’ll be back”

|- The Legend of Gordon Freeman -|

>> ATH0 -- NO CARRIER <<

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